Greetings and salutations Mirrorheads! Welcome newcomers, it is great to have you all on board. Written Wednesday 3 on them!
If you’re new to the Written Wednesday Series here are parts 1 & 2 respectively…
This particular post is two weeks late. Whilst I am getting fed up of the weekly tussles with my Macbook Pro, until I can acquire a new one; it’s better than no content at all. I didn’t want to post Monday’s piece until I got back in sync with the schedule. Last week Wednesday didn’t happen, so here it is belatedly.
Quick video plug! Check out and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more silky 4K visuals like this…
Now there isn’t a moment to waste. I will take my final form right from the start…
The Subtle Differences
Having had a great many conversations with people I like, respect and even some I don’t. One of the things I had noticed is that there are really subtle differences that dictate the direction of these exchanges.
As a disclaimer, I will admit that if someone you don’t like or respect says something to you it is way easier to make this distinction. It’s as if you become a hyper-vigilant filter, nothing gets past you.
Back To The Subtle Differences
The types of subtle differences we often come across are in things like diction, tone and actions. Using words that betray a person’s true disposition towards you. Those people that claim to be in your corner, while their words show they aren’t. A very recent and relevant example of this was ‘That GRM Interview with Rapman’ aka ‘Wow Jay-Z Gate’.
You don’t need to be a world leader in psychological behaviour to detect the saltiness in this room. My word! Then again, it could all be for views right? Yeah that would be a solid defence. Claim it was staged for clout!
Honestly this was a case study in ‘people who know you’ that for some reason or the next, can’t bring themselves to be happy for you on your climb to the top; much less to see you finally make it to the summit. These are people that know you and yet they will never accept your worthiness…
How is This Subtle?
It is subtle because the overtures are correct. Think about it! When someone congratulates you on your success or accolades, you as the successful and deserving party accept it as earnest. We all do! It’s not like you’ve murdered anyone to get it, so why would you be suspicious of a well wisher? Unless you’re getting high on your own supply like Montana, there’s nothing to ruminate on here. We say, “Aww thank you, I appreciate that, good looking out” and we keep it stepping.
Then when it becomes we should catch up and celebrate! That’s one of your people, so of course! We ought to celebrate the wins we get in life and not just wallow on the L’s. You’re the one who’s won now, but if it were them, you’d sincerely have suggested the same thing. Naturally it’s a yes! We go way back or far enough for this to be accepted as genuine.
The Not So Subtle Price of Admission…
Now you’ve met and the hug/handshake is lacklustre. The conversation immediately becomes about them and at some point you hear the truest statement you’ve ever had the honour of being last to find out, “I wanted to be in that position”. LONG PAUSE!
You try to swat the inferiority complex out of the air by saying, “Look if I can do it, why not you? I’ll help you!” That was a trap door because now it’s a conspiracy theory for them about how ‘different your ye is’ and your ancestors were black magic practitioners. Your eyes pop out of your head like a vintage looney toon cartoon. Where is this coming from?
Well, like they said in American Gangster, “Your success took a shot at you!” You can’t believe this nonsense, you had to grind for what you have sure, but you probably even tried to involve your people in it. They didn’t see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow the way you did, and so, they didn’t explicitly discourage you but they also never empowered you on your journey. Don’t mistake this for monetary support or outward online co-signs. I’m talking about the offline love and encouragement that charges you up and stores in your memory for the hard times ahead.
How Can You Avoid This?
Simple! Don’t be successful, don’t have ambition and don’t follow your dreams! Be the friend who everyone looks and says, “At least I’m not that person”. Truth is, the genuine people around you love to see you win! The more you win the more you inspire them to win. This is not to be confused with competition. Real ones know what it is…
Don’t be saddened by the fact that people who you may have never met also want to see you do well. You know why? Struggle and pain are universal feelings and stages of life. Everyone can relate to it. Jealousy and envy are also universal. Those are choices they aren’t inevitable. The people who gravitate to you genuinely do so out of a true empathy for the journey you’re on.
Ambition is like the speed force, some of us are better able to tap into it, but it’s all around us.
Yo DC come holla at your boy, I’m ready! LMAO
Subtle Changes of Mindset
We all can benefit from subtle changes in our mindset. None of us is a machine; our thoughts, feelings and even our overriding emotions can sometimes fall short of the true intent we possess. This is part of the reason I wrote The Thought Book 1 & 2. I would like people to be able to restore their thought patterns, feelings and emotions to pair them with their true purpose. The approach for this is not purely psychological but as a member of the human race who knows this has universal appeal. We all go through these things. Some more than others sure, but it’s about empathy and understanding of how to repair our injured psyche.
About Jay Mullings
Multiple Award-winning Screenwriter, Author, Blogger, Film Director and Founder of Written Mirror Ltd. Jay is an ambitious but humble creative who wants to connect with audiences all over the world. Born in London but raised in Jamaica, Jay carries his experiences of both cultures and lends it to his work with his unique but authoritative voice which, he admits not seeing represented enough growing up.
I can be reached for serious comment and article contributions via email firstname.lastname@example.org if it’s a formal request. There will be no tweeting from me for the rest of the year @writtenmirror (returning Jan 2019) so please don’t contact me via twitter if it is urgent. Instagram @writtenmirror if need be. For any public speaking opportunities kindly use the above mentioned communication methods.