The Endless Void of Doubt:
Why We Never Quite Trust Ourselves Enough
Thank you returning ‘Mirrorheads’ and welcome rookies! The sun is shining in London for once and I believe you are due some light from me. Especially, as it seems so many people are throwing shade at each other these days! That’s a story for another time. Let’s jump right in!
The Endless Void of Doubt…
Sounds like an epic book title! In honesty it probably is the book we could all write. Everyone doubts themselves at one point or the next, whether justified or paranoid it happens! Why? Overthinking, loss of confidence, past failures or just someone saying something cryptic at the wrong time and many more reasons. In writing, this is very common and almost what intrinsically unites all writers. However, I’m absolutely certain that this happens to everybody in some shape or form, whether you’re an athlete, musician, actor, director, photographer, architect, doctor, plumber, bus driver etc.
The doubt isn’t always directly related to that particular career. For instance a musician could be having doubts about taking up blogging. The plumber about studying to be an architect. A doctor about moving their home to a new area and you get the picture. Is there any evidence on record that doubt has ever been beneficial where it pertains to action we absolutely need to take? Doubting yourself before something necessary for your development or general well being just seems so counterintuitive. Then why on earth do we all go through it?
Why We Never Quite Trust Ourselves Enough
I remember this particular Jamaican proverb fondly, “Chicken merry hawk deh near!”, which essentially translates to, it’s going well now but disaster is near by. So from a young age I learnt to take the highs in stride while remaining vigilant against the impending lows. No one can permanently live on cloud 9 right? This is what your brain is telling your heart when you’re confidently striding towards that something you’ve identified as necessary to grow. It’s saying, “Are you sure you want to be this confident? Be careful now!” you were completely focused until this happened, now you’re seeing ghosts!
It’s completely natural and a sign of a functioning mind to have occasional doubts. That voice in your head is preparing you for the voices out there! The first battle you need to win is against the voice of doubt! After that, everyone that follows is that little bit easier.
Worrying about things just gives you more cause to worry. Break the cycle! – p.13 ‘The Thought Book‘ Jay Mullings
We’ve all got the ability to reason with our minds and care passionately with our hearts. That ability can also be used to turn doubt into unbreakable motivation. I’m talking about using the lemon like taste of doubt and transforming it into a delightful form we all recognise as purpose. Purpose is the thing that quiets doubt! Without purpose we are slaves to doubt, it controls our moods and slowly stifles our ambition.
The mind is a powerful tool when married to purpose. p.16 ‘The Thought Book‘ Jay Mullings
Ways of Sharpening Purpose
This will be different for many people. Much like Vegeta’s method of unlocking super saiyan differed to that of his rival turned colleague Goku. Yes I just mentioned Goku and Vegeta in a post, ‘Deal With It!’ because it’s very applicable.
Personally what gives me purpose is knowing that my motives for what I do are pure. I am not being anything other than my authentic self at all times. Pretending isn’t an option for me. Anything I do I am genuine and if people don’t like it I can say I tried my best with no lingering regrets. When doubt comes over me it’s usually in the shape of finding flaws people might see. I take a moment to reflect and sure up the flaws if I can and if that’s not possible I ready my responses if brought up. My doubts help me grow, but my purpose keeps me on the ball.
Others may need to visualise the outcome and execute it according to that vision. I sometimes do that as well, but I find that it makes me more rigid in my approach trying to recreate something in exact detail i.e. I become obsessive. So this approach I reserve for projects that are completely under my control. Enough about me, how do you sharpen your purpose?
By doing things that give you confidence. Smile more, dance, travel, meditate, colour, sing, cook. Build yourself up and enjoy yourself doing it! Live like you’ve already perfected the formula and then sooner or later the perfected formula will find you. Stay away from negative people, this is especially important if you’re sensitive. The last thing you want to do is share your dreams with the purposely unhappy. If all they’re likely to do is upset you and feed your doubts then perhaps it’s wise to give them a wide berth until your purpose is rock solid. Face them on your own terms, not when you’re still reconciling with your own mind. That’s how many a dream has been killed, don’t allow yours be added to that graveyard…
Return of The Doubt
Sounds like a mashup between Mark Morrison and No Doubt! I now have a compulsion to hear this play out! Anyway, I’m so sorry I got distracted…
Doubt has a way of creeping in slowly. We’ve seen this happen to beautiful people who lose their ability to see what we all see, athletes with enviable skills becoming shells of themselves and musicians relying on substances to face the world. It’s pretty grim stuff.
This is why it’s important not to numb yourself to feelings, but to strengthen your mind and bodies connection in the hopes of understanding when this is happening.
I have been busy with the filming of my Documentary ‘THE JAM’ and there have been times, (I keep a diary) where these waves of doubt and discontent would creep into my mind. Nothing was good enough and this was all doomed to fail. Where did this come from? I realised it was caring too deeply and not enjoying the process freely. In reality this is a beautiful learning experience and it has given me insight to my friends and family that I have not always been explicitly aware of. If the film comes to nothing, I still wouldn’t change one thing that happened. People that have been supportive and those who haven’t, I have learnt a lot about audio (LMAO) and even more so how people view me outside.
Speaking of how people view me. I have had lots of people come up to me and ask what I am doing or why I am doing what I am doing etc. It’s not always kind but it does always make me laugh! For some reason I get more curious people when it’s just audio farming, but the real a-holes tend to come over when I’m filming. Walking through shots or just hovering around in a weird way. Funny now but when I think back to the exact moment it does sometimes wind me up! Anyway, I digress…
There is no reason to doubt what comes next because, I have evolved and tapped into new forms of creativity that I had once locked away purely so I could become a better writer. Imagine my surprise at being even more relaxed and involved around the keyboard…
Doubt is An Ugly Trout With a Pigs Snout
Honestly there is no great need for worry/doubt. Especially not at the expense of confidence/purpose. My mission remains the same, I am here to help people rewire their thought patterns. I want to see everyone more confident and filled with purpose as opposed to the worrying doubters that life has pushed a lot of us into becoming. Repeat after me, “Doubt is An Ugly Trout With a Pigs Snout!” again, “Doubt is An Ugly Trout With a Pigs Snout! AGAIN, THIS TIME WITH YOUR CHEST, “DOUBT IS AN UGLY TROUT WITH A PIGS SNOUT!”
Thank you, my work here is done! Look out for THE JAM in 2019…
The Thought Book 1 and 2 special hardback signed and inscribed are available here:
TTB: The Thought Book
TTB2: The Thought Book 2
About Jay Mullings
Multiple Award-winning Screenwriter, Author, Blogger, Film Director and Founder of Written Mirror Ltd. Jay is an ambitious but humble creative who wants to connect with audiences all over the world. Born in London but raised in Jamaica, Jay carries his experiences of both cultures and lends it to his work with his unique but authoritative voice which, he admits not seeing represented enough growing up.
I can be reached for serious comment and article contributions via email firstname.lastname@example.org if it’s a formal request. There will be no tweeting from me for the rest of the year (Returning Jan 2019) @writtenmirror so please don’t contact me via twitter if it is urgent. Instagram @writtenmirror if need be. For any public speaking opportunities kindly use the above mentioned communication methods.